Understand the skill
A conflict may involve different facts, priorities, needs, or interpretations. Begin by describing the specific issue and hearing each account. Separate the position someone proposes from the interest behind it: two people choosing different rooms may both want a setting where they can work effectively.
More context and nuance
Generate possible next steps only after understanding the concern. Look for an option, trial, or fair process that addresses the important interests. Do not force agreement or treat all conflicts as equal misunderstandings. Unsafe situations, discrimination, or repeated mistreatment need appropriate adult intervention, not a requirement to compromise.
A method you can use
Describe the issue and hear both accounts.
Identify interests and constraints.
Agree on a feasible next step and review.
Compare two attempts
Attempt A
We both want the tablet, so one person has to lose.
Attempt B
One partner needs the tablet to record a short explanation; the other needs it to view instructions. They can first download the instructions to paper, then use the tablet for recording.
Which attempt addresses the lesson’s stated communication goal more clearly?
- Attempt A
- Both attempts address the stated goal equally well
- Attempt B
Show a hint first
Ask what the proposed option would help each person accomplish.
Show the worked explanation
One partner needs the tablet to record a short explanation; the other needs it to view instructions. They can first download the instructions to paper, then use the tablet for recording. The solution addresses the purposes behind the competing positions. It does not assume the first two demands are the only options.
A common difficulty and its repair
Watch for
Jumping to a compromise before knowing what each person needs.
Try instead
Ask what the proposed option would help each person accomplish.
Practice at your level
Grade bands suggest a starting point. Move between them to suit the learner, task, and support available.
Grades K–2
An example assignment
Resolve an invented disagreement about two characters sharing blocks by asking what each is building.
Look for: Look for a practical next step.
Two practice contexts
- Two characters share building blocks.
- A game has a disputed turn.
Context 1
Two characters share building blocks.
Which next step follows this lesson’s method for the supplied context?
- Repeat the known difficulty without changing the approach.
- Replace the message with unrelated details and ignore its purpose.
- Describe the issue and hear both accounts.
Show a hint first
Ask what the proposed option would help each person accomplish.
Show the worked explanation
Describe the issue and hear both accounts. Look for a practical next step.
Context 2
A game has a disputed turn.
Which next step follows this lesson’s method for the supplied context?
- Replace the message with unrelated details and ignore its purpose.
- Identify interests and constraints.
- Repeat the known difficulty without changing the approach.
Show a hint first
Ask what the proposed option would help each person accomplish.
Show the worked explanation
Identify interests and constraints. Look for a practical next step.
Grades 3–5
An example assignment
Role-play a disagreement about a group activity and name each person’s underlying goal.
Look for: Separate goal from preferred option.
Two practice contexts
- A group chooses different activities.
- Partners need the same tool.
Context 1
A group chooses different activities.
Which next step follows this lesson’s method for the supplied context?
- Replace the message with unrelated details and ignore its purpose.
- Describe the issue and hear both accounts.
- Repeat the known difficulty without changing the approach.
Show a hint first
Ask what the proposed option would help each person accomplish.
Show the worked explanation
Describe the issue and hear both accounts. Separate goal from preferred option.
Context 2
Partners need the same tool.
Which next step follows this lesson’s method for the supplied context?
- Identify interests and constraints.
- Repeat the known difficulty without changing the approach.
- Replace the message with unrelated details and ignore its purpose.
Show a hint first
Ask what the proposed option would help each person accomplish.
Show the worked explanation
Identify interests and constraints. Separate goal from preferred option.
Grades 6–8
An example assignment
Compare facts and priorities in a fictional project conflict, then propose a reviewable trial.
Look for: Do not force a false consensus.
Two practice contexts
- Separate facts from priorities in a project.
- Design a trial to resolve a scheduling conflict.
Context 1
Separate facts from priorities in a project.
Which next step follows this lesson’s method for the supplied context?
- Describe the issue and hear both accounts.
- Repeat the known difficulty without changing the approach.
- Replace the message with unrelated details and ignore its purpose.
Show a hint first
Ask what the proposed option would help each person accomplish.
Show the worked explanation
Describe the issue and hear both accounts. Do not force a false consensus.
Context 2
Design a trial to resolve a scheduling conflict.
Which next step follows this lesson’s method for the supplied context?
- Repeat the known difficulty without changing the approach.
- Replace the message with unrelated details and ignore its purpose.
- Identify interests and constraints.
Show a hint first
Ask what the proposed option would help each person accomplish.
Show the worked explanation
Identify interests and constraints. Do not force a false consensus.
Grades 9–12
An example assignment
Facilitate a low-stakes disagreement with interests, constraints, and explicit limits on what can be negotiated.
Look for: Recognize when adult support is needed.
Two practice contexts
- Compare positions and underlying interests.
- Identify when a communication exercise is insufficient.
Context 1
Compare positions and underlying interests.
Which next step follows this lesson’s method for the supplied context?
- Repeat the known difficulty without changing the approach.
- Replace the message with unrelated details and ignore its purpose.
- Describe the issue and hear both accounts.
Show a hint first
Ask what the proposed option would help each person accomplish.
Show the worked explanation
Describe the issue and hear both accounts. Recognize when adult support is needed.
Context 2
Identify when a communication exercise is insufficient.
Which next step follows this lesson’s method for the supplied context?
- Replace the message with unrelated details and ignore its purpose.
- Identify interests and constraints.
- Repeat the known difficulty without changing the approach.
Show a hint first
Ask what the proposed option would help each person accomplish.
Show the worked explanation
Identify interests and constraints. Recognize when adult support is needed.
A planning frame to study
The issue is ____. One person needs ____, another needs ____. Constraints are ____. A next step we can review is ____.
Use the fixed scenarios in the argument builder to check the role of each part.
Open the fixed-choice argument builderWhat this lesson checks
- The issue stays specific.
- Important interests are understood.
- The next step is voluntary and workable.
The checks use predefined choices about the supplied examples. They do not evaluate an original speech or written response.